Testimony of a Trans Who Explains the Nightmare After His Operations: “Fuck to All Those Who Let This Happen”

ER Editor: At last, a testimony of what trans surgery is all about. Kudos to TullipR, a detransitioner, for his bravery. We’d had this explained to us by a mental health professional friend some time ago, who said what TullipR describes below: you lose all sexual sensation in the crotch area, which utterly shocks those who’ve had the surgery and who were never told this would happen.

The mechanics of what TullipR describes is that the surgery deals (unpleasantly so) with the surface stuff. The top gets chopped off while the underneath stuff remains, in other words. TullipR also reports permanent problems with urination. Other testimonies we’ve heard complain that the surgery can leave you in a lot of pain. Vaginal penetration is impossible, your libido is shot.

Further, as our mental health friend explained, the underlying psychology of the person is never dealt with, which remains long after the body has been cut and drugged. TullipR addresses this. In France, you only need two one-hour appointments (as an adult, it needs to be said; this isn’t yet possible for children) with a psychiatrist to convince him/her to grant you permission for the treatment. What is often missed is that the person has some deep-seated issues, which will not be fixed by transitioning. Transitioning, in fact, becomes yet another problem on top to deal with.

We do recommend checking out TullipR’s Twitter account. It is quite the eye opener for more truth-telling, including bits and pieces on the shady (our word) doctors who are willing to do this to young people.

Here is a recent Youtube interview featuring TullipR, who discusses what detransitioning is, and what complicated psychological profiles people who want to transition present with. Above all, there are ideologies and beliefs strongly behind all this as a political phenomenon, including the myth of ‘being a (woman/man) trapped in a (man’s/woman’s) body’. TullipR is remarkably articulate and insightful:

This constitutes total abuse, abuse by a system, of the youngest, most troubled people. Forced vaccination of entire populations should come as no surprise once this world is known about.


Testimony of a trans who explains the nightmare after his operations: “Fuck to all those who let this happen”


TullipR is from the UK and lived as a trans woman from 26 to 34 years old, including hormone therapy and full genital surgery in 2018. TullipR is active on Twitter and leads the trans men’s group, which he launched in April this year. Here is his testimony which we hope will open the eyes of young people who feel bad about themselves and are being pushed by the government, the Woke left and greedy surgeons to embark on a transition that will have no reversal.

I want to tell everyone what they took from us, what ‘irreversible’ really means and what that reality looks like to us. Nobody told me anything about what I’m going to tell you now. I have no sensation in my crotch area. You could stab me with a knife that I wouldn’t know. The whole area is numb, as if in shock and unable to understand what happened, even four years later. Nobody told me that the base area of ​​the penis would remain, because it can’t be removed — which means you end up with a literal strain inside that contracts. When you take testosterone and your libido returns, you wake up with a morning erection, minus the penis. I wish that was a joke. But this is something that will never come back. My libido died about six months on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) and at the time I was happy to be rid of it, but now ten years later I realize what I’m missing and what I won’t get back. Because even if I had a libido, my neo-vagina is so tight and small that I couldn’t even have sex if I wanted to. And when I use a small vaginal dilator, I get random sensations that pick up on pain rather than pleasure. All the pleasure I feel comes from the prostate which has been advanced and enveloped in the glands of the penis, which means that anal sex is not possible with the risk of further damage. My libido died about six months on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) and at the time I was happy to be rid of it, but now ten years later I realize what I’m missing and what I won’t get back. Because even if I had a libido, my neo-vagina is so tight and small that I couldn’t even have sex if I wanted to.

Then there are the dreams. I often dream that I have both genitals. I tell myself that I have to wake up because I know it’s only a dream. And I wake up in a real nightmare. In those moments of amnesia, as I woke up, I touched my crotch expecting something that had been there for three decades, but it wasn’t. My heart is racing, every fucking time.

Then there is going to the bathroom. It takes me about ten minutes to empty my bladder, it’s extremely slow, painful and because it drools no matter how much I relax it will then go all over that area leaving me soaked. So, after cleaning myself up, I’ll notice moments later that my underwear is wet — no matter how much I’ve wiped, it drips slowly for a good hour. Little did I know that at thirty-five I ran the risk of smelling of piss everywhere I went. Now I’m getting to the point where I’m detransitioned and caught up in the realization that it’s permanent.

During the transition I was obsessive and deeply sick, I can’t believe they were allowed to do this to me, even after all the red flags. They didn’t even ask me if I wanted to freeze sperm or if I wanted kids. In my obsessive and deeply sick state, they just nodded and didn’t tell me the realities, what life would be like. And finally, there’s dilation, which feels like some kind of demonic ceremony where you impale yourself for twenty agonizing minutes to remind yourself of your own stupidity. It’s not regret, it’s grief and anger. Fuck everyone who let this happen.





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